She means well

The following is an actual text conversation I had with my mother.

~~~

Her: Does Kiwi have any toys in his crib? Ones that attach? U no what omega?

Me: He has something called a crib soother but he never uses it. Why? Also, omega?

Her: Omega dinner? I dunno. Toys for Kiwi's crib so he will play and U can sleep longer. (Kiwi has recently decided that 5 AM is a good time to start the day) What's a good website for learning toys?

Me: I'm not sure you'll find a toy that's both crib appropriate and educational.  It probably wouldn't keep his attention for very long but thanks for thinking of me! 

Her: Maybe I'll get a toy iPad and put a retractable cord on it for him.  Yes?

Me: For real?

Her:  Or a cellphone he can sleep with.

Me: haha?

Her: Ok, gotta work now. I'll email you what I get for Christmas.

~~~

I'm almost certain she was kidding.

Almost.